When I'm out in public with a skirt on, I have no way to know what people think without engaging them in conversation. Otherwise, something I perceive as a dirty look might simply be heartburn. I will say this. There have been an unusual number of people with heartburn around me lately. I'm making myself start conversations with complete strangers at the dog park, in Office Depot, etc, and handing them a business card that just says: 30DaysinaSkirt.com and asking them what their first thought is when they see a man in a skirt. Ok. Well maybe the card says more than just 30DaysinaSkirt.com. It is hot pink, after all.
I've asked folks to share their thoughts on this blog, but there has been some reluctance to engage, so I'm using this post to invite those responses. I'm doing my best to keep the comments in this unmoderated so folks can post in their own voice, and I only intend to moderate if things become hateful instead of reflective. There's a difference between "I wondered what kind of weirdo (insert your favorite term) this guy was," and "You're such a weirdo."
So that's the invitation. Please post your first impressions. Maybe some of my own assumptions are completely off on this thing. Maybe a man wearing a skirt is totally acceptable to everyone...
Look! Its a surprise tag!
Not really, just some instructions on posting. Please look for a box to check that tells the great Googly in the sky that you are not a robot and punch in the characters in the picture. Lots of folks mentioning posts aren't coming through, and the system is a bit tricksy on the posting thing.
Here goes AGAIN. I wrote a comment and it disappeared... or will show up as a duplicate???
ReplyDeleteI rarely notice what people are wearing these days - I'm to the point where nothing shocks or surprises me. I am so "unaware" that I worry that should a person close to me become "lost" I would not be able to accurately give a description of their clothing! The only thing I do notice is women who are inappropriately and scantily dressed. I always wonder (yes, judgmentally) "what are they thinking to dress like that in public!?" So, a guy in a skirt...? well... it's just a guy in a skirt. More power to him!
Thanks for trying again, Patsy! Fun to look at our reactions around appearances. Glad to hear your thoughts!
DeleteInteresting - that is my first impression. I think I'm just as interested in your findings as you are, I almost want to try this where I live, to see if our results are similar.
ReplyDeleteBut in response to what you wrote above, I do think most people would be at least a little uncomfortable when asked to provide a first impression directly to you, while standing in front of them in a skirt. Maybe the next step in this, is to have a second party standing back about 50 feet, making random comments (such as "did you see that?") to random people in the area to see if that would generate a reaction.
YES! We've actually talked about doing this, kind of like a push-poll just to see what people say about it. I'm also trying to deliberately invite conversation in other settings. Picking up my bright pink t-shirt today that says 30daysinaskirt.com so that maybe conversation can be inviting instead of intrusive. Just to provide a variety of engagement points.
DeleteThank you for jumping in, Ikey!
My first impression of Royce in a skirt was not nearly as jarring as my fears about Royce in a skirt pre-project. I'm attracted to Royce, in part, brcause of his traditionally "manly" look. I joke sometimes that he is caveman-esque. He is a homemaker, sensitive, etc, but on the outside, he is a hairy, muscular dude. So I worried if this would somehow shift that. It didn't. I think if he were wairing a flowery dress, it would be different, but he chose, what seems to me, like the most gender-neutral or even "manly" skirt he could find. My first thought--he looked like a monk--the kind that is a master teacher, meditates often, but could also whip out some crazy martial arts moves and put someone on the ground with his xi. Bottom line--I think the skirt is a baby-step toward gender-bending, and the look is ambiguous enough that most people find ways to explain it away.
ReplyDeleteMy initial reaction was ,, and I am being totally honest is " how cool is this guy",, and I wanted to say that to him but I decided to wait til we exited the men's room at Movies 8, having just seen a very fast paced, exciting and thought provoking film ("The Kingsman") I was feeling inspired. At least I let Royce finishing peeing before engaging him in conversation, the proper thing to do as our culture prevents any conversation at the urinal unless you are drunk and then all rules seem to go out the window. So in the theatre lobby I said,, ,"Dude,, you are rockin that skirt!"
ReplyDeleteAnd I meant it.. with the tie died shirt and sandles I was reminded of the 1960's when it seemed we all dressed a bit freer and with much more individual expression. The idea of a man wearing something other than pants is pretty common around the world.. look to Asia, the Middle East, Africa, Scotland ( had to include the kilts). It is odd to me that we see a skirt as a totally feminine attire... look back in history to the Greek and Roman gladiators in their skirts. I am glad we are having this conversation about gender identity.. the whole idea of blue is for boys and pink is for girls. I was so happy I stopped and met Royce and his wife Sarah,,, it truly made my day and gave me a renewed faith in humanity and kindness especially during these times of police brutality, the far too common deaths of young men of color, the thugs who burn and pillage, and the ongoing fight for equal rights for everyone regardless of gender, race, sexuality, or gender identity as we watch Bruce Jenner face hatred from some but also love from many. Acceptance of anyone or anything different is a learning and growing process which in the end when we arrive makes for a better world for all. I would like to see one million men in skirts march on the Washington Mall to bring attention to peace and equality for all. Now ROCK ON IN THAT SKIRT ROYCE!
It was so great to meet you today, Steven! It was especially cool to hear the difference between the conversation in my head and what you were actually thinking. I wrote the post for today yesterday right after meeting you, so its fantastic to hear your actual thoughts! Your comment meant so much to me, and hearing more about how justice is wound through all of these struggles is exactly what I'm doing with this project. Thank you!
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